LONG day! :(

So, if you don't know me here is a short version of our story. I came of bc pills 2 weeks after my husband and I married. 3 months into our ttc journey we started clomid. 12 failed rounds of clomid later we were referred to ART program. On our 3rd injection cycle we found out we were pregnant. Less than a week later we found out that we miscarried. 7 more injection cycles and then 2 failed IUIs later we decide to adopt. The miscarriage was May 2009. Most days I am fine with everything, but there are certain days when it just gets to you! :( Today was one of those days when everything made me want to cry. I just feel like my life is falling apart. It seems like everything is about to come crashing down and I just don't know how to make it stop. I never dreamed my life would take this kind of turn, but right now all I can do is pray that my angel baby is safe in the arms of the people who love me and hubby and that I am following the path that God would want me to. I just can't stop myself from thinking we should have a baby who is almost 8 months old instead of waiting to see if we will eventually find someone who wants to terminate their rights to their child or if we will adopt through the state. It is just almost too much for me to handle at times. I have just been feeling down in the dumps today. Praying tomorrow goes better. Until then!